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Dear Mr. Spider-in-my-Shower,
Thank you oh so much for hovering over me as I showered today. If you're still around tomorrow do you think you could drop a little lower on your web so that I can shriek even louder? Thanks.
Also, if by some weird twist of fate you happen to be Ms. Spider-in-my-Shower ...
(a) I'm sorry that I called you "Mr." up above. Don't attack me in any way.
(b) If you're planning on having babies, please, be a good mom and don't leave them scattered around the bathroom. Sure, they're cute when they're little but they're big, freaking nasty things when they grow up. No offense, of course.
(c) Also, if you decide to drop towards me again while I'm rinsing out my hair I'm going to have to find a way to terminate you. And when I say "terminate" I mean that The Terminator will be coming over to blow your nasty, scrawny-legged little ass into the hereafter.
(d) The above applies to both male and female spiders.
(e) I know that my shrieking fear is well known in the spider community, but it's not funny anymore! Get the hell out of my house!
(f) The above applies to both male and female spiders.
Well, thanks for listening. I hope we can work together on this.
Kelly
Thank you oh so much for hovering over me as I showered today. If you're still around tomorrow do you think you could drop a little lower on your web so that I can shriek even louder? Thanks.
Also, if by some weird twist of fate you happen to be Ms. Spider-in-my-Shower ...
(a) I'm sorry that I called you "Mr." up above. Don't attack me in any way.
(b) If you're planning on having babies, please, be a good mom and don't leave them scattered around the bathroom. Sure, they're cute when they're little but they're big, freaking nasty things when they grow up. No offense, of course.
(c) Also, if you decide to drop towards me again while I'm rinsing out my hair I'm going to have to find a way to terminate you. And when I say "terminate" I mean that The Terminator will be coming over to blow your nasty, scrawny-legged little ass into the hereafter.
(d) The above applies to both male and female spiders.
(e) I know that my shrieking fear is well known in the spider community, but it's not funny anymore! Get the hell out of my house!
(f) The above applies to both male and female spiders.
Well, thanks for listening. I hope we can work together on this.
Kelly
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