The totally true tale of the unwanted threesome.

I was offline pretty much all day yesterday. It's a not-so-long, slightly-convoluted story and you're about to hear all about it. I'll follow up that story with the one about how I got unintentionally felt up in a bar and now have nightmares about chairs and people sitting on me. You can thank me later.

To start things off, we've been having intermittent internet problems at work. Randomly, our internet will die, come back and die again. We've had people out to look at it, we've replaced out router and modems but it hasn't really helped. On Thursday, we lost all internet access completely in the morning and it didn't come back before I left for the day. Talk about a long ass, boring as hell day. I had no Twitter, no Goodreads, no anything. It was AWFUL!

Anyway. I had mentioned to malkovich03 last week that I wanted to try to get together for dinner one day soon. We didn't make any hard and fast plans, it was more a "ooh, that sounds fun". Lacey text messaged me Thursday morning asking if I wanted to try for that evening. Since I had nothing better to do (woe, I was internet-less!), I said yes. I might have sent a chastising text message to Lacey reminding her that if we had planned ahead I would have brought a change of clothes and not had to wear my work clothes. She might have said that she'd be wearing her work clothes, too. I might have responded that she has the naughty banker look working for her whereas I just come across as a disheveled office worker. There was laughter at that point.

Onward. After Lacey's long-ass closing crap she does at her bank (it involved bickering and noises of disgust between two of her coworkers) we finally made our way to find a place to eat. We ended up at a little wine bar, sat at the actual bar, drank some wine, ate some snacky things, Lace saw one of her friends. At some point, a drunk chick and her handsy manwhore came in and ended up standing next to me. He kept edging her backwards toward me until SHE WAS SITTING WITH ME ON MY CHAIR. Dude. Really. Then he was groping her and I had the unfortunate displeasure of getting roped into the group grope because SHE WAS SITTING WITH ME ON MY FUCKING CHAIR. Lacey looked at me at one point and said that I looked like I was involved in an unwanted threesome. *face palm*

I really should have said something but I was a little afraid to look over at them. I was sure he was going to suck her face inside out and I'd be standing next to a bloody faced corpse. For the record, that didn't happen.

Lacey, however, got to tell all about the guy standing behind her surrounded by three drunk women. He was telling them about his trip to Africa and how wildebeests OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WERE ran in packs of 100 - 3 males and 97 females - and all the male wildebeests did was fuck all day. I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP! How much game does this guy have that he's telling these drunk chicks about fucking wildebeests - literally fucking - and they're hanging on every word? There was also talk about how he hadn't had a blowjob in 10 years and when he was married he only had sex on birthdays and anniversaries. *face.fucking.palm*

You know what? I still had a good time. Because I got to hang out with my BFF and drink wine. Sweet!

Okay. I have book stuff to talk about.
Book #269 - Between the Land and the Seas (Marina's Tales #1) by Derrolyn Anderson - A nicely written, YA book with MERMAIDS!
Book #270 - The Mistress' House by Leigh Michaels - A series of three interconnected novellas revolving around a house in London.
Book #271 - Now You See Me (Poison Apple) by Jane B. Mason & Sarah Hines-Stephens - I'll admit that this was Hailey's book. I totally nabbed it for a light read.
Book #272 - Born of Fire (The League #2) by Sherrilyn Kenyon - LOVED this one. I adore sexy sci-fi and Sherrilyn Kenyon so this is a no-brainer.

I'm off. I have to work tomorrow and I'm praying to all the old gods that my internet is working. PRAYING!
Later.